Hello third trimester!!

We've made it! The final trimester! This is half scary, half exciting. Scary because there is still so much to be done before our little bundle arrives, as well as the terror of knowing our lives are never, ever, EVER going to be the same again. EVER! Exciting because soon there will be tiny toes to kiss, a warm little baby to snuggle and, on a selfish note, my body will be my own again without any sudden pains, paranoia about what I'm eating and the ever increasing weight! (bah)

Mostly, I'm just excited (though a panic attack is probably right around the corner). At this point baby's movements are more often swishes as s/he turns one way or another and stretching of little arms, legs, elbows, knees and a tiny tush pressing out here and there. I. Love. It. Sometimes it's a bit painful but I like that I can get a feel for who is in there. It's not as much a mysterious presence causing sickness or random "popping" sensations. It's a definite being with arms and legs I can feel. Baby's antics make me laugh all the time because they're so unexpected and delightful.

In some ways, at least this week, I feel like I'm returning to the first trimester. Not sick, thank God, but very tired. I've been having trouble sleeping soundly this week, work has been very busy and by the end of the day I'm exhausted. I come home and just sit still on the couch for at least a half hour before I can manage to convince myself to get up, exercise and make dinner. I'm hoping this is just a phase this week due to a baby growth spurt and fighting off a cold, not a new normal. I felt pretty great throughout the second trimester, so I know I'm lucky.

My belly feels so big to me! Though when I say that to other moms they just laugh and say, "just wait." I know. I know. It's going to get WAY bigger. But this is the biggest it's ever been in my life so, just sayin', feels big. People now feel comfortable just looking at me and saying, "Oh! When are you due?" I feel like that is a significant line that has been crossed. And who can blame them? Look at me!

The belly (angels singing)

Seriously, someone tell me how on earth I have three more months of growth left? I'm going to topple over!

Trying to be considerate

This morning I was looking at boy names for the millionth time to see if anything new piqued my interest. I thought, hey, LB can hear me, I'll ask what s/he thinks. Our conversation went something like this:

(Sara peruses names)
"What do you think of ______?"
[nothing]
"What about _______? Do you like that one?"
[nothing]
(Sara takes about 5 minutes to find next name. Baby starts wiggling around, clearly awake)
"Hey, what about ______? Do you like that name?"
[NOTHING!]
(Pause in name reading. Baby begins shimmying around again.)
"Okay, would you like to be named __________?"
[Yep. Nothing.]

Apparently baby doesn't want to help choose a name. So, fine, be that way kid. But don't come to me when you're 14 asking why I named you ________ because I'm giving you a chance to give me some input and you are not at all interested. Maybe I'll just take the advice of the 3 year old who suggested we call you Po-po. What do you think of THAT? Sure. That you give me a kick for.

A Scientist?

Baby hasn't been enthusiastically kicking as much lately and it has been moving it's entire body in a slightly spastic fashion and gently prodding its surroundings. The prodding is my favorite. I imagine Baby being like, "Hmm... (prod, prod) what is this?" I like to think I've got a very scientifically minded baby in there, testing its environment, mapping out its surroundings and determining where the best nestling spots are. Lately my right hip has been a place of extreme fascination. Baby spends hours pressed against it and last night seemed intent on attempting to burrow into it with what I'm guessing was a small fist. When this effort was frustrated, Baby apparently satisfied itself with just pressing as much of itself as possible against that hip and has spent most the day there, stretching languorously every now and then, but mostly just chilling out. Well, sure. Baby's been going crazy all weekend long and now that I'm back at work s/he is all mellow. Silly baby.

TIME LAPSE OF A DAY

I meant to finish that post yesterday but I did not. C'est la vie.

Work has been very busy and stressful for me since we got back from the Holidays. Generally, even when things aren't great I enjoy my job overall and feel very thankful for it. This month I've felt thankful for it but my sense of enjoyment is very low. I'm hoping this is a phase. However, I write this here to say that on days, like today, when work feels exhausting and like all of my effort is getting me nowhere, LB's little prods and wiggles completely make my day. How can one stay in a state of distress when a tiny human who needs you prods you gently with a wee little foot or hand? Even though being pregnant often feels creepy (small human in my insides!), it's already amazing to me how close I can already feel to this baby and how important it is to me.

I see the same in Joe, who woke up early this morning and pulled on his snow pants to go out in the 1 degree, snowy weather and clean my car off for me. He's done it before I was pregnant, so really he gets accolades all around, but he has been a very doting and caring husband during my pregnancy and it's adorable. He gets infinity points.

 Baby, we're a little scared of you and all the responsibility you represent, but boy do we love you.

Baby Hiccups and Surprising Developments

Joe has this most ludicrous, hilarious hiccups in the whole world. It's like "hic-CUP" and I love them. They make me laugh, though I always feel bad because everyone knows having hiccups is miserable.

Baby's been getting into hiccuping lately and I just have to laugh every time I feel those little rhythmic "bomp bomp bomp" movements and wonder what they will sound like when this little wiggle worm is on the outside. Poor baby. Poor Joe. They have to endure so much laughter from me.

On a completely different note I was forced to go shopping today. I am not a woman who enjoys shopping. The words "retail therapy" do not apply to me. I wear clothes until they fall apart and am then forced to replace them. I've reacted in a similar way to buying maternity clothes. I would resist vehemently until it became physically impossible to make my clothes continue being wearable. Even today I wandered out in public in a sweater I thought was reasonable until I realized that during regular activities it really ceases to be long enough. ~le sigh~

Today I was forced to go out in search of new bras. If this is too awkward of a topic for you, stop right here. Scroll back up and read more about baby hiccups.

For the past couple weeks my bras have become unbearable. The underwires were digging into me, everything was just tight and uncomfortable. I don't really feel like I've gotten bigger but my poor rib cage says otherwise. After last week at work being completely stressful I decided that enough was enough. It's bad enough when you feel stressed out and cranky without adding uncomfortable bras into the mix. The decision was made. This weekend I would solve this problem.

I boldly strode into Target on a mission. I figured I was up maybe a size. Firmly in a C cup probably with some serious space needed for my ribs. I gathered 4 options around this size guesstimate. Not even close people! NOT EVEN CLOSE! I rolled out of there with bras that are 1-2 cup sizes bigger than my normal bra size and 2 sizes bigger around. What the criminy?! I was not expecting those shenanigans but good grief! No wonder I've been so dang uncomfortable! Now I just hope that I won't outgrow these because that would make me very sad. I erred on the side of a smidge roomy instead of a snug fit to accomodate for this, but frankly, I am shocked by my discovery today and no longer feel that I have any idea what is coming next.

Finally, dressing room lighting and mirrors are never flattering but they feel especially cruel when you have a big old belly hanging out there. In spite of the numerous opinions I've heard, I feel like Little Blum is sitting low on my body and frankly my belly looked like a ludicrous potato sack hanging off of me in that mirror. Curse you Target dressing room!! (shakes fist to the heavens.)

Fetal Warfare

Baby and I got in a fight this week. It had to do with Baby feeling like squishing down as low and possible, feet first, was the best place for him/her to be living and me vehemently disagreeing due to the extreme discomfort. At first, I thought, okay, that's fine, the baby will move eventually. But NO. This baby clearly belongs to Joe and I because my entire pregnancy all it has wanted to do is smush itself into as small of a space as possible and curl up. Apparently s/he was very cozy wedged down in the lowest regions of its home and had no intention of switching things up. It was day two of this, when Baby started gleefully dancing on my bladder and other sensitive areas that I decided to fight back. I pushed at those little feet and legs of doom, not hard, but firmly. Baby responded with some more kicking. But I said, no, pumpkin, no. The time has come, you need to move. PUSH!

And Baby obeyed. Or got mad at the oppressive mystery pressure and slunk away from it. I woke up this morning with a whole new feeling from Baby. Pretty sure s/he executed a full turn last night and now has her/his feet toward my back and his/her little back and butt pressing out into my stomach. It makes for very different feeling kicks. Instead of sharp little smacks popping out bits of my belly, everything just shakes a bit as Baby pummels my back. You'd think this would be worse, but it's actually much more comfortable because I've got the placenta for padding back there.

Thanks for the respite from your beloved, but tiring, physical onslaught of my insides. It's much appreciated. Now, tonight, let's rest quietly between the hours of 2-6 AM so Mommy can sleep. We'll get to spend plenty of the wee hours of the night together soon enough.

Getting Ready for Baby

Today I watched my adorable husband carry two bookshelves and an office chair out to his truck single-handed to make space in our guest room for a crib. I've always heard people talk about how seeing your spouse loving your child makes you just love them all the more but today I felt that like an overwhelming wave when I saw Joe hauling stuff around, whipping out measuring tape, and trying to give up his spider-man room for all kinds of things. I just love him, I just do. He's going to be such a good dad and I'm so glad I have such a loving, delightful, sacrificial partner. I'm really, really lucky.

Anyhow, enough gushing for now, y'all are gonna be tired of me. We're trying to squeeze Little Blum into our guest room without removing the guest bed so that there's still somewhere for visitors to sleep. I don't want to go haywire with this room because we're not going to be in this apartment much longer, I would think one more year tops, so Baby is never even going to remember living here or what its room was like. For me this is all about practicality and ease for Joe and I, as well as trying to be considerate of our upstairs neighbor (no one lives in the room above the guest/baby room, so hopefully that will be less disruptive to them).

I know for a lot of new moms, decorating and designing a nursery is a very fun and special thing, which I don't want to demean at all. I think that's great and I think every one has things that are important to them when it comes to their own families. For me, that was never something I thought or dreamed about when I thought about my baby arriving. I've never spent time browsing through nursery designs or anything like that. I dream about making my baby's food and taking them outside so they can learn to love nature like we do. I dream of cuddling at night and reading aloud to them. I'm a little weird, I know, but that's just my way.

There is so much stuff available for babies these days and they really don't need half of it. It's always hard for me to try to maintain a balance of whether or not we should get things that we don't need, but do want, when there are so many needy people around the world. I was reminded of this when my parents purchased vaccines for a third-world child in honor of our baby for Christmas this year.  My baby is so lucky. I'm so lucky. We're safe and well-cared for. We've got a team of doctors watching over us, healthy food and vitamins, paid leave to be together when s/he arrives, a doting and supportive daddy/husband, a cozy home, and lots of love. We're blessed and I'm so thankful.

We also have a boppy that keeps giving me the eye and saying, "Hey, you could take me out of the package and we could take a nap. No one will ever have to know..." Get behind me tempter!

I'm Married to the Fetus Whisperer

As Baby gets bigger I can feel his/her movements a lot more. Little twitches or wiggles that probably would have gone unnoticed in weeks past are now very noticeable. We've got ourselves an active little scooter on our hands! I feel a little nervous for the rest of my pregnancy because sometimes Baby's activities can start to exhaust and, depending on where those little feet are directed, even hurt me. I'll get to the point where one could come upon me muttering to my belly, "Let's rest for a bit, okay? Sit still for a bit. There, there, time to rest."

Baby doesn't really seem to care when I say these things to him/her or press on the wiggling with my hand to try to calm it down or shift the target area. HOWEVER! Baby does listen to Joe! I don't know what it is about his hand, warmth, mellifluous voice, whatever, but when he gets in there and starts chatting with Baby and rubbing my tummy, that kid calms down. He has been dubbed "the fetus whisperer" and now commonly receives my pitiful request of "come soothe your child!" If he's this good at getting this child to be calm when it's born we are going to be sitting pretty.

I would like to take this brief moment in the blog to say hurrah for Baby's aunts! Aunt Becky has been putting a lot of work and time into planning a shower for me, which is incredibly kind. Aunt Leigh's excitement and medical knowledge has been such a blessing to me, as was her company at Christmas. Aunt Hannah is clearly delighted and I think is going to be a great help to me at..... soon to be Aunt Karlee's wedding! We're so excited to be adding a new family member and aunt for baby! Lastly, I can't forget baby's honorary aunts who aren't technically Blums or Zeckoskis but might as well be- Trisha, who is so excited it completely melts my heart and Shana, who is going to be a very special presence in my kid's lives, no doubt.

This is getting long so I'm not going to mention all the great-aunts who have also been so kind and generous at this time, but I am going to say I'm so thankful for all the family surrounding us, even in they're not right in town. It's great to feel that support and love.

What's that you say?

One of the funniest things for me right now is how out of control my imagination is when it comes to imagining what the baby is doing or feeling. In reality, probably not much of either. It's a wee little baby with 0 concerns that basically just reacts to the environment around it. My pants squish it, it wiggles. Vibrations startle it, it kicks. Baby doesn't have language and spends most of its time in a sleep-like state even when it's moving around (thanks for that nugget of imagination crushing truth Aaron!) so in reality there's not a lot going on in its little mind.

But... I still pretend there is. I can't help myself, I think of the baby like I think of myself and imagine it's aware of what I'm doing and such. I ask it questions and interpret its bump and wiggles to mean things. Today we had a dialogue like this:

"Baby, what are you doing? Oh, you're mad because we're hungry."
(Baby flails some limb)
"Yeah, me too."

Yesterday it was more like this:

(Baby squirms and pushes out what I assume was a foot violently)
"I know, these clothes are too tight and you hate being squished"
(More kicking, a variety of prodding)
"I'm sorry! I'll never wear this outfit again."
(Squirm)

Bossy little fetus, right? Unreal. :)

On another note, soon I have to start keeping track of the baby's movements on a little card from my doctor. I'm supposed to count 9 separate movements and then mark the time of the ninth movement on a card. I told baby about this and I think s/he laughed until s/he got the hiccups because I'm pretty sure we're going to be done every day by 8 AM. 9 if somebody is feeling lazy that day. Especially since we have a new habit of morning wiggling as soon as I wake up. This may not bode well for my future. I will miss you sleep. I will miss you so much.

This baby made out like a bandit

So, our baby came away from Christmas well-loved by its family members. Here are the gifts received that are all adorable.

From my parents:

Frog newborn gown and puppet. Look out for furry frog kisses Baby!

Going home from the hospital chicken outfit. I need to tell you there is a chicken face on the butt of this one.

Now, I know you will all be shocked to learn that the baby was completely outfitted with Packers gear (Go Pack, Go!) Baby's Great Aunt Mary bought those cute little shoes you see on the right. My favorite part of this gift is that #80 shirt. That shirt was originally bought for baby Joe Blum to wear as he rooted for the Packers. It went on to be worn by Zac, Tim, Luke and Hannah and will now be worn by our tiny Packer fan. We then get to pass it on to the next Blum baby and on and on it will go until the fateful day a Blum baby destroy it. No, just kidding. Kind of. 

I wonder what the baby will wear next fall...

And finally, the first item I've picked for Baby myself, this little plaid hat! Good for a boy or a girl, I promise. There's purple in there and you put that hat with a little purple onesie and it is freaking adorable. I know, I tried it in Once Upon a Child. A place I am obsessed with by the way. Syracuse consignment better live up to it!

Plaid like Daddy!

So that's all very fun. I also received a lovely baby brunch with my high school friends hosted by the lovely and very generous Katie Murphey, assisted by her pancake making husband. Thanks so much Murpheys for going out of your way at the end of a lot of Christmas travel with two little boys to let me get together and celebrate with my friends. It was a really fun and glorious time.