Okay, I'm ready now.

Z had his appointment with the ENT today. I was really delighted that there was a cancellation that allowed us to get in to see him earlier since I was pretty anxious about the original appointment date not being able to work out because of baby. The ENT said that Z has a lot of fluid in both ears, enough to cause the eardrums to bulge and basically not allow them to vibrate at all. He recommended that we put tubes in and we agreed. His surgery is scheduled at the end of May. The doctor agreed with the audiologist that once Z can hear clearly he will likely make up for any delays in his speech that he's exhibiting now. It's pretty astonishing to me to find out that he's been unable to hear us clearly. I've had to wonder how often I've attributed him ignoring me to him being obstinate when really, he just couldn't understand me. I mostly hope that being able to hear better will help him with his frustrations with communicating and learning new words. Of course, I'm scared to have my baby be put under and have a procedure done, but I don't think the other option to "wait and see" is going to do Z any good. The doctor and his nurse were both very willing to answer all of our questions and explain things to us, so I at least feel comfortable that he is in good hands.

Now that Z is settled for a bit I finally feel ready to have this baby. He's been threatening to make an appearance for a week now and I've basically been trying to lay down as often as I can and not do anything that could trigger labor since last Wednesday. Now, I'm less anxious. I've also gotten to a good place with the GBS+ stuff, so that's helped me feel more prepared too. No matter when he arrives, it's going to be tricky with the end of the semester upon us, but I'm as ready as I can possibly be. I'm also getting really physically uncomfortable now, so that's helped push me towards wanting to just get this show on the road. I'm tired of being achy and giant. He's sitting really low now, so low that when I saw my doctor yesterday she asked me how I was sitting upright. Painfully doc, painfully.

Anyhow, I feel much more at peace now. So, in the immortal words from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, "I think I'll go for a walk. I feeeeeel happy! I feel happy!"

Feeling like a time bomb

I don't remember feeling this way with Z. I guess because we had less going on when he was born so it didn't really matter at what day or what time he arrived. This time it just seems so much more complicated because we have Z and it's the end of the semester and now our car exhaust suddenly started making noise. Seriously, car? You couldn't have waited another 2 weeks? We don't want to wait to get it looked at and risk it getting worse so I guess we could end up taking a cab to the hospital. 98% of the time having one car has been absolutely fine, and if it wasn't for the impending labor, this would be fine too. But right now every day is, "Today? Tonight?" Every time I feel a twinge or whatever, I wonder.

Which is why I'm typing this at 1:30 AM. I felt some twinges and then started worrying about having to wake Z in the middle of the night and have him get dropped off. I worried about inconveniencing the very kind people who have offered to watch him with a really crabby toddler on top of their own toddler and brand new baby. I started wishing I could just guarantee I would deliver during daylight hours and wondering if I could make that happen. I mentally told baby to just hold off for another couple days so we can get the car fixed and Z's ENT appointment out of the way. I wished I'd not asked to be checked because then I would be blissfully unaware (though I'm actually glad because it really knocked me into high gear and I got a lot done).

One of my students told me last Friday that it's really stressful for her, not knowing when I might go into labor. I said, "Yeah, I kinda feel the same way." Apparently she's never been around pregnant women before and was concerned I might "explode" during class. She'd even had a dream about it (a couple other students chimed in with their dreams about me giving birth at this time). Once she was reassured that there would be no "explosion" she seemed to feel much better.

I know that whatever happens, whenever, we will work it out. Somehow, I will get to the hospital and deliver this baby. That's all that really matters. But, seriously kiddo, try to wait until after your brother's ENT appointment tomorrow. That's all I ask. Just cook for 48 hours longer. I'd even take 36.

April Recap

The Man:

Joe is doing well. It turns out that he does remember how to swaddle. He was worried, but for naught. He is still an excellent swaddler, as proven by the swaddled stuffed monkey that is currently residing in the bassinet.
This month was really busy for Joe. Some was less fun like some work stuff that was making him crazy, but some was good news, like getting to perform with an improv team and going to rehearsals for that. I'm glad he was able to finally have something positive happen for him with improv before the baby arrives. All in all, a good month for him. It's definitely been a big weight off both of our minds to not be worrying about his job anymore. We do still have the next hurdle of if his position will be renewed next year, but we can put off worrying about that for now.

The Lady:

I'm just... really pregnant. I'd forgotten how hard it is to feel motivated to do anything productive in that last month of pregnancy (aside from the random bursts of nesting). I've felt really behind all month long in pretty much everything, yet when I get some time I just want to take a nap. I honestly feel bad for my students because my tolerance level for shenanigans is basically zero and I've gotten pretty feisty with a few of them as a result. On the other hand, I've also let some of them get away with some silliness because I just didn't have the energy to make a fuss. I have just three more paper assignments to grade this semester, a couple in-class assignments, and those are the biggest things that remain. I've also got three letters of inquiry and one grant proposal I want to get submitted over the next two weeks. Can I do it? Umm... yes. I believe so. But, I would like to take a nap.

I'm really, REALLY thankful that I'm finally feeling better though! It's glorious to not have a cough, cold, sore throat, sinus pain, vomiting, etc. Woooo!!!

I also continue to be really grateful for the mom group I joined. Now that I finally know we will be here another year I feel like I can get more involved and get to know people better. It was just a little difficult to feel that way when all that job stress was hanging over our heads.

The Boys:

Z turned 2!! Such a big boy. This last month with all of the talk of his development, trying to spend a lot of one on one time with him before brother arrives and knowing that I'm going to be transitioning to being home with the kids full time, I've felt (this might sound goofy) like I've become more confident as a mom. Better at discipline, better at making our days together count, better at being patient, better at challenging him to learn and grow. I still feel like I'm woefully in need of help, practice and maybe some books, but I feel like I'm doing better. I hope I can hang onto this feeling for a little while, even when the newborn sleep deprivation descends.

Bebo is healthy and VERY active. I sometimes fear he is going to do me an injury! He also has severe hunger/anger issues. If I don't eat he protests vehemently until I get something into my system. If that continues on the outside, woe to us if there is ever a delay in getting milk into that belly.

I'm really tired of being pregnant and huge, so I'm pretty ready to meet this little human. The only thing I'm really feeling anxious about is him arriving safely and breastfeeding. Since breastfeeding was such a nightmare for me last time, I'm not really feeling very confident about that situation. I'm trying really, really hard to be positive and know that this is not the same. Bebo is not Z, I know more now than I did before and am better equipped to look for and meet challenges. We can do this. I've got my fancy new pump as well, so I'm hoping that will be my friend, as much as a breast pump can be. I think that's one of the things Joe is anxious about as well, just because it will be a different routine. We had the formula routine down where we would take turns at night getting up to give bottles, but now I think he doesn't really feel like he has a role if I'm doing all the feeding. I'm sure we'll figure it out, but these are a few of our anxieties at this point.



All in all, the Blums are doing well. We're ready for the summer and our new arrival, even though we are nervous about the transition. We're trying every small space "hack" we can think of to make our little townhouse work with another human occupying the space. I think there are going to be some moments when both Joe and I want to put a hole through the wall or get rid of all of our furniture just to gain a few more square feet, but we do truly think staying here is the best decision since we're still uncertain about next year. We can just save up the money we would be spending on higher rent to put towards a house (or something) next year or moving expenses. Sigh. Uncertainty. Bah.

Development - Part 2

We had Z's 2 year wellness appointment. Shockingly, he's still in the 99th % for height and 95th for weight. Yep, he's a big boy. 

However, this visit I was more concerned about what his doctor had to say about his daycare teacher's concerns and about his speech. She didn't agree with the concerns about "odd movements" or think he seemed off or delayed as far as social development, fine or large motor skills, etc. She did, however, agree that his speech seemed delayed and felt intervention would be for the best. Her first referral was to an audiologist to have his hearing tested because she felt like he seemed to be taking an extra beat between hearing and comprehending, like he couldn't hear properly. Depending on what the audiologist found, we would then talk to the state early intervention program about having a speech assessment done to see if he qualified for therapy. 

I was able to get an appointment with the audiologist two days later and we brought him in to have her test his hearing. She did a simple test where we sat in a sound booth and she talked to him or made noises and watched him look to respond. He did well over all but he did seem to ignore or not hear a certain range. Then she did this: 

Tympanometry: To check how well the eardrum moves. The doctor places a soft plug snugly into the ear canal and a probe is connected to a machine. The child hears a low noise for a short time while the machine records how the eardrum reacts. An eardrum with fluid behind it doesn't move as well as one without fluid.

The tympanometry showed fluid in both ears that might have been there for a long time. She asked me about his health over the past months and I told her he'd been sick a lot since it was his first time in daycare, but was never diagnosed with an ear infection. Her theory is that with all of the colds and infections, he's probably had a build up of fluid in his ears for months that is non-infectious (because infection may have been partially treated by his other antibiotics) but has never been able to drain away. He could hear, but every thing would be muffled, which could account for his delays in picking up speech and speaking not as clearly. She referred him to an ENT and recommended that we not proceed with a speech evaluation until the fluid is cleared and he has a chance to improve his speech on his own after his hearing is improved. The good news is that she doesn't feel like he has suffered hearing loss or impairment, as he demonstrates a wide range of sounds in his speech that she says is not typical if hearing loss has occurred. Of course, it's hard to say with a 2 year old how well they can really hear. I'm sure we'll be doing many hearing tests in the future to make sure no permanent damage was done.

The next step will be seeing the ENT, which when that happens will depend a lot on when Bebo decides to be born. The ENT will determine how to proceed with clearing the fluid, either "wait and see" if his body will drain the fluid itself now that cold and flu season is over, possibly antibiotics, or tubes to drain the ears. I hope we can get Z in as currently scheduled so we can get this show on the road, but unfortunately, the timing for all of this just isn't great.

Thus stands Mr. Z-pants. I was initially really surprised that he had fluid in his ears but now that I've had some time to simmer on it, it does make sense. It fits with why his speech has developed, just not quite as fast. It even fits with why his daycare teacher felt like he never takes direction since it's probably harder for him to hear in the loud classroom environment and why she thought his movements seem "clumsy" (though part of that I'm sure is his taking after me and my terrible habit of getting distracted by things around me resulting in my running into walls, doors, other humans, bushes, parking meters... plus, I'm just clumsy). He's probably had his equilibrium off a bit for months. The audiologist said it usually takes non-infectious fluid 3-6 months to drain and clear after the child is healthy, and Z has not been healthy for... well, he actually woke up with a cold this morning and sounds all froggy. I can hear him coughing in his sleep right now. Poor guy. It also could explain why he seems to mess with his ears so much. I've been attributing that to his second year molars cutting over the last 6 months (yes, it's been a painfully slow experience) but now I wonder how much was teeth and how much was discomfort. 

Either way, we have a path forward that I feel comfortable with and I'm glad we took the referral to see the audiologist. 

I give up on due dates: a Bebo update.

You know, this ain't my first rodeo. I know due dates are guesses and I know that there's a big window of opportunity for babies to arrive so I shouldn't even try to predict when this baby will arrive. But, I can't help myself. For someone who doesn't keep a super clean house, I really like to plan ahead. I like to know what is coming next and make lists and be organized. Babies don't care. And I know that, yet I was still thrown for a loop when my doctor told me this week that things are progressing and she wouldn't be surprised to see me at the hospital within the week. WHA?!

I still hope he hangs on a little longer, just to make life a little easier for me school-wise, but I am working on embracing the fact that he could arrive any day. I would like a little more distance between the boy's birthdays and, like I said, some more time to get a few more assignments graded and done before baby comes and I have to do grading with a newborn. Weeeee...

On the one hand, I am very, very tired of being pregnant, so I welcome the end of this pregnancy. I've had some unpleasant side effects pop up in the last week that have made being pregnant just... miserable. I had two nights in a row where I barely slept and just ached all over. Then I found out that I'm Group B Strep positive this time and I just about cried in my doctor's office.

If you don't know, being GBS positive isn't the worst thing in the world, but it's not great. It means one of two things have to happen (at my hospital, I can't be sure it's everywhere). Option A is that the mom gets 4 hours of IV antibiotics during labor so the GBS isn't passed on to baby. If that can't happen, then Option B is that baby will have to have antibiotics over the first 48 hours. The bummer of this is that I was hoping to leave the hospital after 24 hours because 1) I didn't really enjoy staying at the hospital last time and 2) I don't want to be away from Z. But, c'est la vie. I really have zero control over this situation, so I just have to accept it and move on. There is a chance I might be able to get the antibiotics myself, which I really hope can happen, but I think it's best if I just plan on that not happening so I'm not disappointed. I know my labor might be really fast (because of my history), which will probably make Option A impossible. As a result, my doctor got to be pummeled with my questions about what exactly it would look like to give my newborn antibiotics and what my other options might be. There aren't many and none that I was comfortable with. It is apparently rare for a baby to contract GBS, but if they do it is very serious and I'm not willing to take that risk.

All of these things had me really down in the dumps yesterday. I pouted all evening and complained in my heart about how, in this pregnancy, "nothing" was going right. Which is, of course, ridiculous. Yes, I have been sick a lot. I've had some unpleasant side effects this time that I dodged last time. There have been some challenges. But, baby has been healthy and perfect. He's grown and developed wonderfully. He shows all signs of entering this world safe and sound. And I've been in good shape pregnancy-wise. I've not gained too much weight, my blood pressure has been great, and, thanks to yoga, I feel like my body is ready to give birth again. No gestational diabetes, no premature labor, no pre-eclampsia.

I got a good (for a 9 month pregnant woman) night's sleep last night and I woke up feeling a lot better this morning and ready for whatever would happen. I double checked all of our potential Z watchers and feel peaceful about that. I got our bags packed. I am going to pray and trust that this GBS stuff will just be a tiny blip on the radar and not worry about it. Whenever you're ready, Bebo.

(Though I still would like you to be born in May)

Happy Birthday, Baby!

I can't believe my little baby is two. He's grown so much! When I think of what he was like a year ago, I'm completely astonished. We had a great weekend celebrating him with trips to a state park, frozen yogurt, special meals I thought he would like and lots of playing. He rewarded our efforts with lots of laughing and new words.


Dear Z,

This past year has been so crazy with our move, new jobs, new daycare, new everything! We've tackled all the changes as a family and you've given challenges and joy. Mostly joy.

I'm so proud to see how you have grown and learned over the last year. You have such a sweet, mischievous spirit that always saves my sanity just when you are about to push me over the edge with your strong-willed defiance. You are the stubborn, tough little guy I suspected you to be, but I love that you balance that out with a desire to snuggle, sing and read together every day. Those moments are so special to me and I treasure them.

We have another year of challenges and change ahead of us little guy. Your brother is going to come into the mix and we're going to have to be creative with our small living space (especially during the winter!) while we wait to see if we will be moving next year or not. And, for the first time in your life, you will be home with me full time! I'm anxious and excited, nervous and confident. You are a champ, little man, and I know we will get through these new experiences together. We have so many adventures awaiting us!

While I don't know what the future holds, I can't wait to see who you become over this next year. I know there are going to be days when you really test me and push my buttons, and I will do my best to be patient with you while you are learning what you should and shouldn't do. I love what I see in you now: a little boy who loves to laugh and make us laugh, who gives kisses and hugs, who loves to be outside and music. You are special and unique and your papa and I love, love, love you!

I'm so proud to be your mama.

Sleep in the last month

You know what you should never say to a woman in her last month of pregnancy? Okay, there are a lot of things, but one is, "Get sleep now!" Yes, we would love to, but we can't.

Here is an approximation of my night:

- Check on Z, get in bed.
*potentially be kept awake by mild heartburn for a bit and have to sit in a semi propped position until it subsides*
- Get settled with pillows to support the belly, my hips and my back.
- Wait for baby to stop tap dancing on my ribs.
- Fall asleep
- Wake up to pee.
- Get situated with pillows again.
- Wait out tap dancing.
- Fall asleep
- Wake up because hip hurts.
- 5 step roll over process (remove blanket, move pillows to other side, roll onto back, roll onto side, get situated on pillows)
- Realize I have to pee
- Get situated with pillows again
- Wait out tap dancing
- Wake up because hip hurts....
Etc.

I had an epiphany this time around. This is preparing me for newborn sleep patterns! Up every couple hours, can't sleep in, have to just try to grab a quick nap here and there during the day whenever I can because the exhaustion suddenly crashes over me like a wave. It's like sleep boot camp! I'm going to be soooo ready!

Development Part 1

This is another of those "full disclosure" posts that I didn't really want to share, like my breastfeeding "failure" one. But, I feel like I should because maybe it will help one of my mom friends. Plus, I'm ashamed of myself for being ashamed of sharing this because it just shows me how prideful and silly I am, and how much I allow myself to get caught up in the idea of what is "normal" or "successful." I'm thankful to have been humbled, yet again.

Z's daycare does "progress reports" every 6 months. The first progress report we got from them made us laugh mostly because it said that Z had overcome his fear of art and sensory, which seemed like the most hilarious sentence we had ever read. It commented on him not talking, but that was nothing new to us. I got a little anxiety from it because I want to see him get a "10" or whatever in every box, but, realistically, that's a silly expectation. Kids are all different.

This time his teacher wrote us a note saying that Z wasn't meeting all of his developmental milestones and that if we were seeing the same at home that we should let them know because there "are resources that we can reach out to if needed." My initial reaction was panic. Then confusion. Then annoyance. Panic because all anyone wants is for their kid to be healthy and normal, which to me, this was saying Z is not. Confusion because I didn't understand what she was trying to say she thought might be wrong with him, which I mentioned to her when I discussed this with her later. If you're going to make a comment like that to a parent, maybe give a little more detail to avoid the aforementioned panic and confusion. Then there was annoyance because if they have been seeing behavior from him for the past 6 months that wasn't on par with the other kids or something they considered worrisome, why wait until now to say something to us? Shouldn't they mention something as soon as they feel there is an issue so that we can be aware and work on it at home? Take him to see his doctor if needed? That still bugs me.

All weekend I just kept thinking, resources for what? Speech? Learning delays? Something else? Does she think he's autistic? Is he? I've always thought he was a little different in that he gets so focused and interested in things. I never thought it was bad, just different. That maybe he was going to be one of those quirky geniuses when he got older who is good at one life aspect and a little weird at others, which I think is great. Just part of what makes the world colorful. But the thought that no, maybe this is something negative, maybe there is something broken that we will have to fight through, or something that is going to make his life harder, make him unable to relate to other kids, etc. terrified me. Speech delays and potential speech therapy (which I had been feeling pretty confident we might avoid) wasn't something that frightened me because I know plenty of kids have speech therapy when they are young. But autism? or a learning disability? I was scared.

It's times like this that I'm really thankful for my parents and for my in-laws. My parents have been really reassuring, which has been very helpful while I've fretted my way through this*. My in-laws I've not talked to about this, but I'm thankful because I know through their life example of raising my sister-in-law that they would not for a second believe that if Z was diagnosed with a disability, that he could not live a wonderful and full life. They have never let their daughter's Down Syndrome stand in her way and as a result her life has been so special and full of joy. Yes, there are challenges, but all of their "normal" sons have provided plenty of those as well. It gave me some peace to know how much family support we would have should Z (or Bebo) face any challenges of this nature.

I'd gotten the "progress report" on Friday when I picked Z up, fretted all weekend and then talked to his teacher on the following Monday when I picked him up. I asked her to explain what she meant by her comments and she explained that the daycare works with the state to offer speech therapy and "lots" of his classmates were going to be receiving intervention. She also said that she thinks he indulges in "unusual" movements, like doing down dog, going backwards up the slide, and backing up to sit in their laps. This was the moment that I snapped in my brain. Down dog? You mean, like he sees his parents doing regularly? Going backwards up the slide? I thought we all did that at some point? But this was the kicker: backing up to sit in their laps? What? I asked if that was a worrisome sign of something and she said, "it's just not how the other kids do it."

Thank you, dear teacher, for phrasing it like that because that was what I needed to get a grip. Not how the other kids do it? So what? Why does he need to be like the other kids? Backing up to sit in someone's lap seems smart to me, so isn't that a good thing? To me, that shows problem solving.

This is who he is, who he has been since he was born. Always testing things, trying different options, looking at them upside down, sideways and right side up. That's my son. Do I want him to be like other kids or do I want him to be like himself and be happy? And, that's the thing, he is happy. He's a really jolly, sweet, smiley little guy who loves to interact with people and things, discover new games and items, and read every book he finds.

In my heart, I don't think Z has any serious issues. I think he's just himself and I think he will catch up language-wise this year, like a lot of kids do. I will see what his pediatrician says next week at his 2 year appointment and we will make decisions based on that. I do think there is a chance he might get recommended for speech assessment, and that's fine, but I declined any intervention from his daycare, especially since he will only be there for another two months. I have been wondering if his tongue tie might have reattached and I want that to get checked out. But all in all, I'm not scared anymore. I'm thankful for my son, just as he is, because he fills my heart with joy and love.

*I need to note that Joe was like a calm, confident rock this entire time. He had and has every confidence that our son's unique quirks and personality make him special and perfect. That is why he is a great father. Dave and Vanessa, you should be very proud of your son.
Also, my friend Katie once again swooped in like my mom in shining armor to assure me that a delay or even disability would not mean my son wouldn't be a happy, healthy, perfect human being. I needed to hear that.

Birthing a child and what not

I had a prenatal massage and let me just say, please, may I have some more? I think Joe needs to learn to massage just my head and hands like that because that was really my favorite part. Also, I felt pretty haughty when she said my forearms were really muscular.

"What kind of weight work do you do?"
"I lift a 30 lb toddler."

Anyhow.

My masseur and I were chatting (that's more relaxing for me) and she has 9 children. NINE! I was lying there thinking, "Nine pregnancies. Nine labors. Nine pregnancies... equals how many years of being pregnant?!" (I made myself stop before I started doing the math because math is not relaxing. I did it later. The answer is 7 years.) This, in turn, made me start thinking about my own impending labor and delivery.

Now that I've done it once, I'm not nearly as anxious as I was before. I know every labor is different, but I at least have an idea of what awaits, so that's comforting. I'm even daring to dream that this kiddo won't impede his arrival with hands up on his head. I have more confidence in my body and I understand my own ability to cope with the pain. Plus, now I know that when I am in labor, I have no shame, only angry internal monologues. It makes me chuckle a bit when I think about the amount of swearing and rage I had going on in my head during my labor, while I said barely a word out loud the whole time. I think I mentally cursed every person in that room except for one nurse and Joe.

Honestly, the whole experience is a little hazy. I just have memories of being really annoyed at several nurses. First, I was annoyed because I felt like no one was taking me seriously the first hour I was there and no one came to check on my progress. Then I was annoyed that I had vomited and that the room I was in had nowhere reasonable for that to happen so I'd had to make do with a bin Joe found on a shelf or something. (PS to anyone reading this who has not had a baby- you might vomit! No one told me that one so I was taken completely by surprise. Apparently it's not uncommon.) I was further annoyed when the nurse who placed my IV did a crappy job and it hurt the whole frickin' time. I was really annoyed when they kept talking about me like I wasn't right there. ("See if you can get her to drink with a straw." "She's not using pain medication!"  "REALLY?!"  "Try to get her to drink again.") Then came the oxygen mask, which I felt no need for and was really uncomfortable. Stupid mask. I kept taking it off and they kept telling Joe to put it back on, like maybe then I would forget I didn't want to wear it. The icing on the cake of annoyance was when my doctor told me to open my eyes and look at her. I still don't know why she did this but it completely broke my safe trance and made me realize I'd been pushing for over an hour and thoughts like WHY and I CAN'T came flooding in and I just panicked in general for a bit. I pulled it together after that and all was well, but I could have done without it.

The moment Z was born was the greatest relief I have ever felt and it seriously made me feel like, pft, to all that work because I was so happy to meet him and so tired. So, while I am not really looking forward to experiencing labor again, I have a better sense of that light at the end of the tunnel this time around. Instead of the vague visualization I used during my first labor, I have a sharper picture to focus on this time around. I'm really looking forward to holding this little one, feeling that soft new baby skin and seeing his sweet face for the first time. He's worth every pain, every month of sickness, every sleepless night, every ache, everything.


PS- My two cents. Don't compare labor. Everyone is so different and I have people tell me all the time they think I'm amazing (or I'm crazy) for having no pain medication. I'm not amazing. I am possibly crazy. I am definitely afraid of epidurals (Seriously. Not in a Ricki Lake way, in an ah! needle in my spine!! way). But, understand, my labor was only 5 hours long from the moment I thought, "Oh, crap" to the moment my boy was born. I have no idea how I would have handled something longer. The spine needle might have started to sound pretty good if those shenanigans had dragged on.

This obsession with comparing labor and birth and worrying about how you give birth is just silly to me. There should be one criteria- healthy baby and healthy mama. The rest is just preference and safety measures. So write those "birth plans" in pencil and spend your time worrying about other things like... I don't know... why Starburst jellybeans aren't sold year round.

And don't forget to pack extra socks in your hospital bag. I did. Oops. Wore the same pair for three days. Gross.