My Big Boy is Three!

I can't believe that my chubby little baby is such a big boy now. He's HUGE. Luckily, he's still very snuggly and I savor the time we snuggle in the rocking chair together.

When Z was turning two, people kept saying, "two is rough but three is WORSE," and they were all CORRECT. Z makes us crazy on a regular basis. He has very specific ideas of how the world should work and when it doesn't work that way... well. Life might as well end. Some days it feels like it will be a miracle if we make it until he turns four.

However. He is a sweet boy. He is loving, creative, and has an amazing imagination. He still loves books more than anything, loves music, loves playing in water, going down slides, singing, having us chase him, and swimming. He's tenacious and crazy. He has an infectious smile and a hilarious sense of humor. One of my favorite things of all time is when he lets loose and dances.

Anyone who has followed this blog knows all of the anxiety I have had about Z's development. Over these last six months while he's been in Birth to Three, he's made huge improvements and I'm so thankful for his SPL Laura and all that she did for us. Now, he has started school. School! We visited last week and it was shocking to me that I was going to leave my little boy at this big school!

Dear Z,

We love you so, so much. This has been a very big year for you with lots of huge adjustments. New brother, leaving daycare, going back to a new daycare, starting Birth to Three, leaving daycare again, and now starting school. I know sometimes all of the pushing we do with your language is frustrating, I know sometimes you wish you could send your brother back, and I know that sometimes all you want is to be able to change the Laws of Physics (they can be so annoying). Life can be tough for a little guy like you. However, watching you learn to cope, ask for help, and problem solve is amazing. You are so special and unique and I can't wait to see you grow more over this next year.

XOXOXO!
Mama

March Madness. Seriously.

Hi. Here is a quick update on our lives. 

The biggest thing was that due to further budget cuts to the College of Arts and Sciences, Joe's position was (foolishly) cut by the upper administration (who have no idea what they have done). We were completely shocked by this and are honestly still reeling a bit. I can't tell you what is coming next because we aren't sure yet. It's been very overwhelming and stressful. 

The silver lining has been seeing all of Joe's colleagues and students rallying around him. It's pretty amazing how much he has done, how many people he has impacted, in less than two years. I'm very proud of him and I know that any university or company will be lucky to have him. 

The other thing is that Z qualified for speech therapy in the River Falls school district. He will be able to go to the elementary school just up the road from us (3 minute walk) four mornings a week from 8:30 - 11 am. I think this will be great for him. He's made massive improvement with his SLP visiting one hour a week and, even though he does well with me, I think seeing the other kids, getting that much stimulation, and getting a little break from his adoring brother, will be a great learning opportunity for him. He's actually scoring within a normal range now for expressive language, but we still need to work on receptive language, which is going to include having his hearing retested. I do sometimes think that he can't hear well, though he is certainly not deaf. 

April is going to hold a lot for us. Our department heads are scrambling to try to keep Joe and I around and we will find out the results of their efforts within the next week. Joe is applying to positions like a machine and we might hear from those at any time. Z will start school on April 20, which will be a big change. He and I are also enrolled in a therapy swim class that starts in April, mostly for some mommy and Z time, but also because his SLP recommended it to me. My parents are coming for a visit and to help me while Joe is gone for four days at a conference, which I'm looking forward to (my parents, not Joe being gone).

I think that's it in a nutshell. 

You know, that breastfeeding thing

Okay, so I meant to do an update around 9 months but I forgot. So, here we are! Bear is 10 months old and we have survived this far and the finish line is right around the corner. While I fully support anyone's desire to breastfeed for as long as they and their scooter want, I am counting the days until Bear is one and I can wean him without any overwhelming guilt. I'm very ready to be done.

Not that it's horrible for me anymore; Bear is an efficient eater and nurses very quickly. I'd been anxious about him always nursing to sleep but he's been moving away from that of his accord, so that's crossed off the list. Now, it's really more about selfishness on my part. I want to be able to leave him for more than a few hours. I want my body to myself. I'm ready to stop lactating and wear normal bras. I do look back over the last 10 months and marvel that I kept this other human alive with my own body. That's pretty amazing. As I mentioned before, this has never been simple to me. There are lots of pros and cons. If (IF) we decide to have another child I am not sure what I will decide to do.

Any how, weaning tips for a baby who loves breastfeeding are much appreciated. I'm hoping he will just surprise me and not mind weaning too much. That's possible...

....

Little Bear is 10 Months!

He's growing up!!

The GOOD

Bear is now a very efficient and fast crawler. He's also added climbing on anything he can to his repertoire, which is terrifying to me but he is delighted. He's also started repeating words. Words. Papa, Mama, okay, hello, go, night night... WHAT! This is just completely mind-blowing to me. He will occasionally stand independently and acrobatically cruises all over, so I'm guessing walking is just around the corner. He's starting to really show us his personality now and it's full of craziness! He is a complete daredevil (which has resulted in two bloody noses this last week) and fearless, with the exception of being alone. He hates being alone. Hates it. Which brings me to...

The BAD

Bear is a crap sleeper. Crap. And this is not my cry for help, so everyone just put down your sleep books and such, I promise you, I've read them all. I could really get into this but I'm not going to. I'm going to just say this: sleep "training" is a ridiculous idea to me because not only are all children individuals, but so are all parents, and maybe someone else would have Bear sleeping like a dream, but I can't let that child scream so hard that he starts gagging and is drenched in sweat. Like I said, he hates being alone, which I thought we could solve by having him room with Z, which still might happen some day, but, Z hates not being alone and right now the two of them together equals no sleep for anyone. The good news is that Bear is learning to fall asleep alone in his bed at last. The bad news is that I have to be in there. Not saying or doing anything, just sitting there quietly in the dark. I've been catching up on my podcasts.

His other downfall is his intense obsession with hair, mainly mine. He loves to grab and chew on people's hair. Hence, my new short haircut.

The AWESOME

You know, I love this kid. He's so jolly and adorable. His boldness scares me a little but also fascinates me. He is just SO different from Z that I'm fascinated to see who he is going to be. It's awesome watching his personality unfold.

My Toddler is More Cultured Than I

Seriously.

I listen to 100% more classical music now than I ever have in my entire life. It's not that I hate classical music, I just never listened to it. Ever. Even when I want to listen to instrumental music while I study I listen to scores from films or Sigor Ros because I have no idea what they are saying so it's basically like listening to instrumental music. 

Z loves classical music. He seems especially fond of Mozart at the moment. In the car we listen to NPR Classical. He's enthralled. 

Sometimes, Z can be a challenging kid. I can't really compare because he's the only toddler I've ever had, so I'm not sure how much is just basic toddler insanity and how much is him being a little tougher to deal with. It's hard to say. He's very emotional, he's prone to tantrums, he keeps resorting to hitting and kicking even though we manage to stamp it out for months at a time. He has a scream that could wake the dead. It's entirely possible that his dead-raising scream could start the zombie apocalypse. Sorry about that humanity. 

However, this aspect of his personality brings me just pure, unadulterated joy. His obvious love for and connection with music is just magical to see. The way he can memorize tunes so quickly, his focus, his enthusiasm and peace is just amazing. I love watching him play his "cello" and hear him ask to listen to his favorite tunes. I love how excited he gets when a song comes on that he recognizes. I love hearing him humming these songs while he's playing. It's made and continues to make me a better person. Because of him, I'm being exposed to some beautiful music I've never listened to before. Because of him, I'm learning about a world I've not been exposed to before. 

I imagine this is just the beginning of my kids broadening my horizons. It's pretty cool. 

Nine Months old!!

I can't believe my little Bear is getting to be such a big boy. This month has been especially shocking because he changed so much so quickly. In the span of about a week and a half he went from only army crawling to getting up on his hands and knees, "proper" crawling (is there a word for that?), pulling up, cruising, walking holding our hands and walking with a push walker. He also threw in eating three times a day, taking a bottle or cup, and formula, if desperate, and clapping. I feel like I have whiplash! It also seems like he might be developing some early language skills too. I'd been noticing that when he really wants me he will say, "Mama! MAMA! Mamamamama!" and when Joe came home from work he switched his babbling to "Papa dada pa pa pa!"


It will be so strange for us if he starts talking around 1 because we're just not used to it. Z is all we know, so for us delayed speech seems normal. Z also was in no hurry to walk, so that's going to be a big difference too. Not to say that Bear is smoking Z's milestones in every area. Z was and continues to be a much better sleeper. He was on table food by this time and Bear still gags on pretty much everything but purees. They're just incredibly different and unique, which is such a wonderful and fascinating thing. 

The stats!
Height: 29 inches

Weight: 19 lbs. 14 oz

The Good!
It's been exciting and fun to see Bear reaching all of these new milestones. I love his look of pride when he accomplishes something new and seeing what an adventurous and bold little spirit he is. He loves to be with us all the time, loves to play with Z. He likes to be tickled, held upside down, sung to, danced with, his jumper, bouncing on his chubby legs while standing up, smacking everything, playing the wooden xylophone, trying to take anything Z is playing with, Z's sippy cups, and eating paper whenever I'm not looking. He is generally taking two good naps a day with an occasional third snooze that's usually quite short.

The BAD!
Along with the new milestones (and working on four more teeth) Bear's sleeping improvements have disappeared. He was slowly getting better and now it's a descent into madness. I also think he's been having some tummy issues as he adjusts to eating all of these new foods. I started giving him gas drops before bed and that seemed to help, as well as a good spritz of saline to keep his nose clear. I assume that the lack of sleep won't literally kill me, but some days I'm not positive. (Pours another cup of coffee) 
That's really the only complaint I've got about the little dude. He has started to have some stranger danger, but he doesn't cry when given to a stranger. He just gravely surveys them and if necessary begins to lean as far away from them as humanly possible. Generally speaking, he is still a really jolly, happy, easy baby.

The Awesome!!
Bear is just a cute little sweetie. He's not as snuggly as Z but he's still super smiley and I love his grins and adorable babbling. He gives lots of kisses, likes to pat our faces and explore the range of his vocal chords, mostly deep, throaty squawking.

January Recap

VISITORS ABOUND!

That pretty much sums up January.

First, my parents came for a visit during one of the coldest weeks that we've had. Sorry about that Mom and Dad! But, the good thing was that the anticipation of their visit drove me to finally check out an indoor playground in the area and I'm so glad I finally did! It's been a life saver! My parents generously gifted us with a 10 visit punch card, which was a fantastic gift because it gets us out of the house to somewhere that Z can run and run and run. Bear also very much enjoys crawling and cruising around the baby area. We also went swimming with them at their hotel and my dad took Z sledding on the days that were above 0. It was a great visit!

About a week later, Joe's aunts Mary and Marti came up for a visit. We had a great time leaving our children with them while we went out to brunch. Joe and I had literally forgotten that going out for brunch was a thing people do. It was deliciously awesome. They arrived bearing tons of delicious gifts, showered our kids with affection, binge watched some "Great British Baking Show" with me, , got Bear to crawl, and were really lovely company. Come back anytime ladies! 

When we left for brunch we told the aunts we expected Bear to be crawling by the time we returned. And he was. WHAT!

Finally, our last visit was from our beloved Bordstroms, whom we have missed so much since we moved from Syracuse. It was ridiculously good to see them again and to not need to do anything crazy or spectacular because just basking in their presence, laughing, getting hugs, cooking with Mike, giggling with Jen, and in general having an awesome time because they are that kind of friends was so nice. I cried when they left like it was moving day all over again, but I'm so thankful that they took the time and resources to come out and see us. 

Um... I have no pictures of Mike on my phone. Friend fail.

That was January in a nutshell. The kids had all kinds of developmental leaps but I'll talk about that elsewhere. Joe started back for the semester and was very busy for a bit there but things are starting to normalize a bit for him. I started some freelance work and am getting into the swing of that. I wasn't sure how it was going to work out before I started but it seems like I'm able to balance it well with taking care of the kids full time and it's nice to be bringing in some extra pennies.

The biggest news outside of our little family unit was that my BFF&E, Shana, got ENGAGED to be MARRIED THIS SUMMER. I will be bearing the title of matron of honor, though it grieves me that I can't be there for her and help her more with the planning since she is in San Diego. However, I'm very excited for her and we'll be saving a lot of those aforementioned pennies to travel and bear witness to her nuptials.