Waking Up With Vomit

There's really nothing quite as horrifying disgusting shocking as reaching down to pick up your dear baby from their crib when they've cried and woken you from slumber and, as you slide your hand under their little back, you feel mystery wetness. Possibly slimy (if it's vomit or a massive spit up) but most certainly some sort of bodily fluid that is now all over both of you. The fevered thoughts that run through your exhausted mind, immediately sending you into a half asleep frenzied are approximately as follows, in no particular order as they basically assault you simultaneously like a screaming crowd in your brain:

"OH NO!" 

"YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!"

"WHAT IS THAT?!"

"IS HE OKAY?! IS HE SUFFERING? FREEZING?!"

"WHY DIDN'T HE CRY SOONER!?"

"YUCK!! SERIOUSLY!! YUUUUUUCCK!!!"

This has happened a few times to us, most recently this morning when Joe came into the bathroom this morning while I was showering to announce:

"His back is all wet!"

"What?"

"His back is all wet! I don't know if it's pee or spit up! I don't think it's pee. He's all wet!!"

"What does it smell like?"

"I can't smell well!!"

Conclusion- he did indeed spit up or vomit (hard to tell with a baby) a copious amount at an undisclosed time of the night and then went ahead and slept in a gnarly puddle for who knows how long. When I peeked out of the shower, there he was, huge smile on his face like, "NBD guys! GOOOOOOOD MORNING! Look how Papa's got me sitting on the sink! SINKS ARE FUN! WEEEE!"

I am not being remotely sarcastic when I say I love those boys, I love my life, and babies are ridiculous.