It's just a phase... it's just a phase...

Z is trying to kill me. I'm pretty sure. That, or I'm being punished for boasting about his great sleep a couple weeks ago to my mom. I was all haughty and like, "Oh, he's a perfect sleeper! 2-3 hours naps and at least 11 hours at night." (preens feathers).

I should have knocked on wood.

12/10 - The child awoke at 11 PM, coughing. I applied Baby Vicks and cuddled him for a bit while the coughing calmed down. I put him back in the crib feeling assured he would now fall asleep peacefully because he seemed so tired.

Nope! He fell asleep at FOUR AM! FOUR AM!!! from 11 - 4 AM, I was up and down with him (mostly up) to keep him from screaming and waking up everyone in hearing distance, particularly his father who is still recovering from being sick and desperately needed sleep. I went through the 5 stages of grief.

1. Denial - There is no way he's going to stay awake much longer. He can't possibly. He'll fall asleep any minute now. 

2. Anger - "WHY are you DOING THIS!? WHY? I'm SO TIRED!! Z, stop. Stop! Stop smiling, this is not funny!! Go to sleep!!"

3. Bargaining - "Z, just go to sleep and tomorrow we can play. We can play whatever you want and read whatever books you want and cuddle all day. You can watch Frozen while I make dinner. We can go to Shopko and you can run around. But we can't do any of this if you don't go to sleep."

4. Depression - "Please sleep (sobs). Please. I'm so tired."

5. Acceptance - I'm just going to rock him and not talk or look at him forever if I have to. Forever and ever. It's fine, it's just a phase.

Last night I waited in dread to see what would happen. Happily he spent his yakking hours before I went to bed, so I was able to get some decent sleep. I have no idea what his deal is. I did spend about an hour making up explanations that he would give me if his verbal skills were advanced enough (as a sidenote, I feel pretty convinced that the main reason he felt he needed to be awake was to practice talking. At one point he just laid in my arms for about 20 minutes making the "P" sound "puh, puh, puh" over and over, then progressing to "Papa, papa, papa" for another 10 minutes):

"Mama, if you leave the room, you will probably disappear and never come back so you need to stay here for your own safety."
"Mama, I had a dream that the snow monster came and took you away! NEVER LEAVE MY ROOM!"
"Mama, I can't practice talking during the day! Someone might hear me!! Soooo embarrassing!"

Now I will repeat the mantra that keeps all mothers sane: It's just a phase. It's just a phase. It's just a phase. It's just a phase...