An Act of Kindness

I was reading an article about how four women's lives were completely derailed when random strangers called the police on them for child neglect instead of having a conversation with the mothers. All of them were instances of moms in a hurry leaving their kids in the car while they ran into a store. "Good Samaritans" would see the child and call the police. In one case the person actually took video of the mother getting out of her car and waited for her to come back before calling the police and reporting her. They never spoke to her, just reported her. She ended up getting a year of community service and probation for endangering a minor. I'm not saying that I think it's a great idea to leave your kid in the car. I'm actually so paranoid that there is no way I could do this, even for 5 minutes, no matter how tempting it is (hauling two kids into a store with you for a 5 minute errand is the WORST, am I right?!), but I also don't think immediately calling the police is the answer if the child looks safe and not in distress.

The author ended the article saying that she was in line at a store where a mother with toddler twins and an infant was struggling in front of her. All three kids were melting down and the mom was desperately trying to soothe them.

The screaming grew louder. The line grew longer. Confronted with the spectacle, I did what everyone else in line was doing; I pretended not to see them, scanned the other aisles for a shorter line, silently wished I’d just ordered the items I needed on Amazon, and obsessively checked the time on my phone. I was about to move into another line when another woman, shopping by herself, stepped up to the mother’s cart. I (and probably everyone within earshot) expected the worst: the recording phone, the nasty comment or piece of unsolicited parenting advice. It was as uncomfortable as it was inevitable. We are, after all, all wandering judges. But instead the woman without children smiled and asked, quite casually, if she could help, then without waiting for an answer, began unloading the woman’s cart, playing peek-a-boo with the toddler. The mother began to thank her, but she wouldn’t hear of it.“Really, it’s nothing,” she said, and smiled. “You’ve got your hands full.” (Kim Brooks)

When I got to the end I was crying (no shock there considering I cry about basically everything right now) and was reminded of an instance I wanted to share.

I was grocery shopping with Z. This is one of his least favorite activities. We had made it through and were in line. He'd been extra good and as a reward (and also because I was planning to get him one anyway) he'd gotten to choose one of those big rubber balls. He was clasping it happily until I was in the middle of unloading groceries when he gave it a toss and I groaned inside because chasing his ball at 8 months pregnant was not going to be fun, not to mention I wasn't sure how I was going to get past the cart to get it. Much to my relief, a man who was getting in line behind us retrieved it. I was so grateful and thought to myself, "there are good people in this world!" But that was just the tip of the iceberg. He then proceeded to play with Z the entire time I was checking out. They threw the ball back and forth, he made funny faces. Z was laughing hysterically and having a great time. I was completely overwhelmed by his kindness and thanked him profusely. He just smiled and said, "I have two boys at home, I understand."

I worry about interfering with strangers, but after experiencing that I decided that I would always offer a little help like that man did for me. He made my life so much easier through that simple act of kindness and we all need help sometimes. It's tempting to judge and feel superior to other parents when you see their kids having a melt down or being complete brats, but I certainly know that it could be me on any given day. Toddlers, especially, are unpredictable little creatures, but any kid is just a human. Humans have bad days. When we see that meltdown happening, we are given a chance to help someone. I want to be that ray of sunshine in someone's day.