Fiasco

Fiasco. That is how I would describe my life currently, as a fiasco. Trying to corral a 2 year old while working around the (non)schedule of a 2 month old is just craziness.

For example, let's look at a day a week ago. Bear woke up at 3 a.m. to eat. It took a little longer than normal because apparently he needed to poop very, very badly but it just wasn't happening. Once he was finally settled and going back to sleep at about 4:15, I peeked in to check on Z because he had made a terrible squawking noise that sounded like he was in pain or suffering in some way. When I peeked in he popped up and started chatting away. I told him no it was still dark outside so it was time for sleep. He disagreed. He ended up getting up for the day at 4 a.m. You can imagine that meant we were going to have a very good morning.

I really wanted to go to Trader Joe's, which is almost 40 minutes away, so it takes some planning to go there. We have to leave as soon as Bear eats to give me enough time to get there and do the shopping before Bear is going to freak out. This morning as soon as Bear had his first morning feed I managed to get everybody in clean diapers and dressed and in the car by 8 a.m. Win! However, my clever plan was foiled when Z fell asleep in less than 5 minutes. After thinking about it for another 5 minutes I decided the best idea was to just turn around and let him take a nap at home and try again after he got up. So that's what I did. As soon a Z had woken up and Bear had eaten, we left. All was going according to plan. Bear was asleep, Z had napped and eaten, so we were in good shape. Or so I thought. The best laid plans...

We got there and got inside without too much drama except for the minor hiccup that Bear woke up when I put him in the carrier. I figured I could jiggle him back to sleep but I was very, very wrong. After about 10 minutes Bear started screaming and Z started yelling and trying to smack me. I could feel my blood pressure start to rise as people started staring at us. I managed to calm Bear a little bit with a pacifier but it only lasted for maybe another 10 minutes, if that, before he started to scream bloody murder.

If I hadn't been 40 minutes from home I would have just abandoned the groceries and left but I just couldn't stand the thought of wasting this entire trip. So, I did something different: I went in the bathroom. There are some times that I think we have too much technology in life but that day I was very grateful for my smartphone to entertain my 2 year old while his brother nursed in the bathroom.

Once Bear had eaten on one side, I hastily got him back in the carrier and finished my shopping (forgetting 3-4 items I'd wanted to buy) and got in line. Z decided that he thought I was abandoning him when I went to bag groceries and pay, so he started screaming. Then Bear realized he was still hungry and also started screaming. To top it off, the very young cashier thought she would offer me parenting advice. Yep. Because what I want to do while both my kids are crying is to prolong this moment for you to tell me that if only I would have let Z open up the Cheddar Rockets and eat them while I was shopping, there would be no crying. Other moms do it all the time!

We finally got out to the car where I calmed Z, loaded him up with a drink and snacks, finished nursing Bear and breathed a sigh of relief.

Fiasco. Seriously y'all. Sometimes I really thinking I'm losing this game.