You know, this ain't my first rodeo. I know due dates are guesses and I know that there's a big window of opportunity for babies to arrive so I shouldn't even try to predict when this baby will arrive. But, I can't help myself. For someone who doesn't keep a super clean house, I really like to plan ahead. I like to know what is coming next and make lists and be organized. Babies don't care. And I know that, yet I was still thrown for a loop when my doctor told me this week that things are progressing and she wouldn't be surprised to see me at the hospital within the week. WHA?!
I still hope he hangs on a little longer, just to make life a little easier for me school-wise, but I am working on embracing the fact that he could arrive any day. I would like a little more distance between the boy's birthdays and, like I said, some more time to get a few more assignments graded and done before baby comes and I have to do grading with a newborn. Weeeee...
On the one hand, I am very, very tired of being pregnant, so I welcome the end of this pregnancy. I've had some unpleasant side effects pop up in the last week that have made being pregnant just... miserable. I had two nights in a row where I barely slept and just ached all over. Then I found out that I'm Group B Strep positive this time and I just about cried in my doctor's office.
If you don't know, being GBS positive isn't the worst thing in the world, but it's not great. It means one of two things have to happen (at my hospital, I can't be sure it's everywhere). Option A is that the mom gets 4 hours of IV antibiotics during labor so the GBS isn't passed on to baby. If that can't happen, then Option B is that baby will have to have antibiotics over the first 48 hours. The bummer of this is that I was hoping to leave the hospital after 24 hours because 1) I didn't really enjoy staying at the hospital last time and 2) I don't want to be away from Z. But, c'est la vie. I really have zero control over this situation, so I just have to accept it and move on. There is a chance I might be able to get the antibiotics myself, which I really hope can happen, but I think it's best if I just plan on that not happening so I'm not disappointed. I know my labor might be really fast (because of my history), which will probably make Option A impossible. As a result, my doctor got to be pummeled with my questions about what exactly it would look like to give my newborn antibiotics and what my other options might be. There aren't many and none that I was comfortable with. It is apparently rare for a baby to contract GBS, but if they do it is very serious and I'm not willing to take that risk.
All of these things had me really down in the dumps yesterday. I pouted all evening and complained in my heart about how, in this pregnancy, "nothing" was going right. Which is, of course, ridiculous. Yes, I have been sick a lot. I've had some unpleasant side effects this time that I dodged last time. There have been some challenges. But, baby has been healthy and perfect. He's grown and developed wonderfully. He shows all signs of entering this world safe and sound. And I've been in good shape pregnancy-wise. I've not gained too much weight, my blood pressure has been great, and, thanks to yoga, I feel like my body is ready to give birth again. No gestational diabetes, no premature labor, no pre-eclampsia.
I got a good (for a 9 month pregnant woman) night's sleep last night and I woke up feeling a lot better this morning and ready for whatever would happen. I double checked all of our potential Z watchers and feel peaceful about that. I got our bags packed. I am going to pray and trust that this GBS stuff will just be a tiny blip on the radar and not worry about it. Whenever you're ready, Bebo.
(Though I still would like you to be born in May)
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