Feeling like a time bomb

I don't remember feeling this way with Z. I guess because we had less going on when he was born so it didn't really matter at what day or what time he arrived. This time it just seems so much more complicated because we have Z and it's the end of the semester and now our car exhaust suddenly started making noise. Seriously, car? You couldn't have waited another 2 weeks? We don't want to wait to get it looked at and risk it getting worse so I guess we could end up taking a cab to the hospital. 98% of the time having one car has been absolutely fine, and if it wasn't for the impending labor, this would be fine too. But right now every day is, "Today? Tonight?" Every time I feel a twinge or whatever, I wonder.

Which is why I'm typing this at 1:30 AM. I felt some twinges and then started worrying about having to wake Z in the middle of the night and have him get dropped off. I worried about inconveniencing the very kind people who have offered to watch him with a really crabby toddler on top of their own toddler and brand new baby. I started wishing I could just guarantee I would deliver during daylight hours and wondering if I could make that happen. I mentally told baby to just hold off for another couple days so we can get the car fixed and Z's ENT appointment out of the way. I wished I'd not asked to be checked because then I would be blissfully unaware (though I'm actually glad because it really knocked me into high gear and I got a lot done).

One of my students told me last Friday that it's really stressful for her, not knowing when I might go into labor. I said, "Yeah, I kinda feel the same way." Apparently she's never been around pregnant women before and was concerned I might "explode" during class. She'd even had a dream about it (a couple other students chimed in with their dreams about me giving birth at this time). Once she was reassured that there would be no "explosion" she seemed to feel much better.

I know that whatever happens, whenever, we will work it out. Somehow, I will get to the hospital and deliver this baby. That's all that really matters. But, seriously kiddo, try to wait until after your brother's ENT appointment tomorrow. That's all I ask. Just cook for 48 hours longer. I'd even take 36.