Oh boy, I think I've made it!! (nope, haven't. Blast)

Nov. 3, 2014

I think I've made it through the sickness! GLORY! I suddenly started feeling better yesterday. I don't want to jinx myself, but I think I'm finally past the worst of it! Peace out, first trimester! I won't miss you!

Continuing symptoms are strange hunger and being tired pretty much all the time. The other day I literally felt like I could not stay awake so I put on Frozen, set a timer for 20 minutes, put my arm around Z on the couch so I'd wake if he moved, and passed out. I woke up 20 minutes later to my toddler right where I left him and my exhaustion curbed enough to carry on with life.

I'm waiting anxiously for my first movements from Bebo. This pregnancy just feels so unreal to me, even now. I don't know if it's because I'm not in a flurry of preparation or if it's because we aren't getting any early ultrasounds... not sure. It's just very blase. I realize in my mind that I'm pregnant but that's about as far as it goes. I have a list of things I need to do before this baby arrives but I'm basically just looking at it, lazily.

Things I have done: I did order a robe and nightgown for the hospital today because they were on killer sale and last time I borrowed a robe. I have scraped together some maternity clothes since I borrowed so many of those last time as well. We've started making some plans about how we will house this baby, since we think we're going to forestall buying a house one more year and just stay where we are. Only two bedrooms, so where to put baby?

Right now, we're thinking in the closet. That's reasonable, right? I haven't yet called my mother in law to ask her to shower me with wisdom about rooming toddlers and babies together (like when that can start), but that will come soon. It will be cramped, but it seems like the wisest choice and the least stressful for all involved. Joe's contract will be up for renewal in 2016, so this way we will know where we stand before we pick a mortgage payment house. To be perfectly honest, if this place was just a little bigger, I wouldn't even be that interested in buying a house yet. I'm anxious about home-ownership. But, I think after spending a year with a toddler and newborn in a two bedroom townhouse, I'll be ready. I keep reminding myself that I'm a ridiculously spoiled, first-world, richie rich because I have seen with my own eyes families crammed into tiny shacks that barely seem big enough to contain them. I bet they'd be thrilled to live in my "small" townhouse with heat and running water.

This all just reminds me how dang thankful I am. I was telling Joe this morning that I thought teaching college students might make me nostalgic for the "good old days" of college and how easy things were then. But, it hasn't. I feel so blessed that my life just seems to get better and better. I know it might not be the life everyone wants, but I love it. Each new adventure is special and exciting. Almost a full 12 years in a relationship with Joe and I still love being his partner in love and life. My toddler woke me up at 4 AM this morning (curse you, daylight savings!!)  but being his mother has been so wonderful. And now, I get to be a mother again. Yes, life isn't perfect, and it never will be, but I am thankful for all the blessings I have and I'm excited about the future, even though I know challenges await.

Nov. 10th.

It was all a lie. So... sick... ugggg.... scrambled eggs and toast for dinner again.