Sara's Opinion Rants On Motherhood - "Sleeping Through the Night"

Congratulations! You had a baby!

So. How's it sleeping?

Ah yes, one of the absolute favorite questions to pepper parents with because it's a quick and easy way to assess if they are winning or losing the Game of Life. God help them if they answer "no" because then they will get a deluge of [unwanted] advice, anecdotes, book recommendations, websites that will guarantee that little bundle will be sleeping through the night in no time! And forever!

Yeah, I'm gonna call bullsh*t on all of that.

Here is my opinion rant on the magical unicorn we call "sleeping through the night."*

The Myth: Babies are Robots

For some unknown reason, people seem to think that babies are robots, not humans. I can only guess that's what people think because they seem to believe that every baby is the same and therefore will react the same way to the same schedule, sleep training, teething, cold, etc. (except when you are freaking out because they aren't crawling, then it's all "every baby is different!" Yes, they are all different except they should all sleep the same. Wait, what?)

I can't say for certain about all babies, but I'm fairly certain that most babies are not robots. They are, in fact, humans. Humans, shockingly, while predictable in many ways, are actually unique. I'm not sure at what age our society deems it acceptable for humans to have different sleep patterns, but certainly not any age where the younger human might need the assistance of an older human during their nocturnal wakings. Oh no, those humans should have been sleep trained and sleeping all night, every night without a peep or YOU HAVE FAILED AS A PARENT.

Here's the thing. No, you have not failed. Babies wake up because they have needs. Some babies are needier than others. There are ways to test for needs vs. wants. There are methods for this everywhere and one will probably work for you. But, in the end, the person who is asking you about your baby's sleep habits and then telling you how you should do whatever, is not the parent. You're the parent. You're the one waking up with little pudding. You get to decide. They do not. What worked for their little Gertrude might not work for your kid and that's okay. Gertrude is Gertrude and Sammy is Sammy. They are each individuals who may need different things to fall and stay asleep.

The Myth: Once Your Kid Sleeps Through, They Will Do it FOR-EV-ER

Honestly,  I don't even understand this and maybe it happens every now and then, but in my [limited] experience and observations, it ain't happening often. Why? Because babies and toddlers are ticking time bombs, exploding every few months with learning, teething, testing, sickness, etc. You get over one hump and another is waiting for you. That's okay. That's part of being a parent. That's not failing, that's bearing witness to your child's life. It can suck, but it's part of the big picture. Little pudding will settle back down and return to sleeping in due time.

Be strong, parents. You can do this. Don't let other people make you feel crazy. You have kids for that.

*I am obviously not even remotely an expert. I'm someone who likes to write her random thoughts down. These should be taken as random thoughts, not expert advice. K? Cool.

**Oh, and I am a little sassy, deep down inside. This is my sass outlet.

***This is not an angry sleep-deprived rant. Z is actually a really great sleeper. In May, there may be angry, sleep-deprived rants. Newborns.... sigh...